Pamper-Her-Friday by Rg2®

A Guide for the Romantic Man

1) Calling all Romantic men: Take the Romantic’s Hippocratic Oath: Do Her No Harm.
When it comes to love and giving of her body and emotions, a woman is ethical by nature. Yes, she can be corrupted by capitalism, materialism, and “title/status” ambition. But, generally, when she’s convinced and truly feels that he’s willing to love fairly and genuinely, she’s equally willing. Even more. It’s her nature. Remember: Do no harm.

2) Establish a mutually agreed-upon theme to your relationship with the woman when you come together.
When President Obama met Lady Michelle, more than the fact he was smitten with her many intellectual and personality attributes, her family infrastructure (dad loved mom and kids, mom loved dad and kids, and both committed to raising the best family they knew how), he admired the “love” evident at the soul of her family–something he hadn’t had growing up and was quietly longing for. They committed to carry on that infrastructure, that legacy, that love both for themselves and, even more, for their girls.

What’s your relational theme? “Let’s grow together”; “Let’s support and nurture our individual artistic dreams”; “Let’s raise a strong family together”; “Let’s start and build a business together for the future of our kids”; “I’m a writer–will you be my editor?–we’ll both enjoy the fruits of our joint labor”; “Let’s alternate Pamper-Her-Fridays/Pamper-Him-Fridays throughout our journey together, because we appreciate one another and won’t forget . . . .
Gotta have a theme.

3) Ever play charades with family members or friends? Slip a topic card of your own creation in the game and pantomime how you feel about a certain woman among the guessers. Once someone figures out: “I love ___________ . . . ,” watch how the room “ahhs” with emotional surprise. (She won’t forget it.)

4) Get up a little extra early, make her breakfast–presented photo-worthy at the table–kiss her forehead, apologize that you can’t join her because you’re going in early so you can leave work a little earlier. Among her breakfast items, leave a still-corked bottle of wine or cognac (her fave) with a note attached: “We’re going to enjoy this tonight for ‘Part 2’–would you like to have dinner with me?”
Even though you’ve been together awhile, make her feel as if you’re still “dating.” A woman’s heart never loses its ability to “flutter,” regardless of time’s passage. She will anticipate. (Trust me.)

5) Take a photo of her (she has no idea) or a photo of you both and have an artist do a sketch rendering of the image; save it on a flash drive, and then upload it to her e-tablet as the screen saver. Or text it to her out of the blue, with the caption: “Recognize this woman? She was voted by People magazine the most beautiful woman in the world . . . but I knew it all along.” (Note: a “smile” response and “never-forget” gleam is guaranteed.)

6) (This is crazy but I love this one): You’re having a disagreement–an argument–at home and it gets pretty escalated. Right at its height, stop, put her in the car and take her to the library (yes, right then and there) and then invite her to continue the argu-, er, conversation. Watch how silly you both are trying to mute the tone and volume in respect of library etiquette. Notice the first to break out in laughter. And realize how much you truly care about one another.

7) While at the library, check out the movie “Dan: In Real Life,” starring Steve Carell. And watch it together–even if you’re not a Steve Carell enthusiast. Then come a little closer.

8) By candlelight and her favorite male crooner on vocals on speaker, preferably on a Pamper-Her-Friday evening, take a whipped-cream can and spraywrite your name along her thighs, taking your methodical time to consume each letter as if you have all night. Because you do. And that’s how she wants it. All night.
(Don’t forget the toes.)

9) On a whim, out of the blue, call her and ask, “Do you care about me, woman?”
If she answers yes without hesitation, she’s in love.
If she says no, she’s fibbing.
The woman’s in love.

***

Pamper the woman and eternal is her love. -Rg2

© 2012 Pamper-Her-Friday by Rg2®

Sundrift Cove, Calif.–Pre-dusk, Pamper-Her-Friday:

“A Momentary Goodbye”

She once threw a vase at him, barely evading his temple.
The vase had held roses he’d given her to commemorate
the anniversary of their first meeting.
Mistakenly, she thought he had approached another woman.
It was the other way around.

She once slapped him, when he tried to kiss her.
On the second try, she embraced him, having discovered a
gentleness–not mischief–to his intentions.

She once smashed his guitar, his second love, irreparably–
she’d bought it for him as a gift after he had written a song
in her honor and played acoustic strings on the dock of the
bay at sunset on their fourth date.
He’d come home with it at 3 a.m., when he had no gig.
He was raising money with it for her engagement ring.
She cried on the news.

It’s not suppose to hurt, love.

“In spite of it all, I love you,” he says to her, eye to eye.
“And there ain’t a damn thing you can do about it.”

He turns to walk away, stops and resumes one last gaze
into her eyes, then exits her doorway as the sun silently
sets against a sherbert summer sky at 7:49 p.m. PST.

On Pamper-Her-Friday.

              ***
The Quality of Love. -Rg2

© 2012 Pamper-Her-Friday by Rg2®

Vocals: Mr. Jamie Cullum

“Their Romance Covenant”

. . . I agree, we’ll keep it bedless.
Did you hear me?
Let me re-say it: We can keep this bedless, love.
Per your request.
But in no way can we go touchless.
I’m as needful as a newborn in that regard–if you
go handless with me, surely I’ll become breathless.
I’m shameless in my self-awareness.
I’m keenly abreast of what I need from you.
Though I certainly won’t make you trustless
of my declaration of love for you–that’s needless.
And by no means can you go heldless.
A woman is Godformed to be held.
Oh, you’ve heard less?
Well, they’re truthless.
Didn’t hear me? Okay.
Stand there;
Sit there;
Lie there;
Drive there;
Think there;
Breathe there;
Reminisce there;
Cry there; and
Regret there . . . alone. Without my hand-therapy,
my touch-therapy.
My listen-therapy.
My just-because-I-care-therapy.
In no way could I be thoughtless.
So, yes, we’ll keep this bedless–at your request.
I like the thought of our being problemless. I do.
Though I can’t promise us tearless after summer’s end.
Unfortunately I can’t.
But let me say this:
YOU WILL NOT GO PAMPERLESS!
Our summer’s romance deserves no less.

(She’s speechless.)

***
Pamper the woman and forever live in her soul. -Rg2

© 2012 Pamper-Her-Friday by Rg2®

Vocals: Simply Red’s Mick Huck­nall

Sparkle, Calif.– 5:01 p.m., Pamper-Her-Friday:

He: You’ve worked hard all week, now it’s time to celebrate.

She: Been thinking of you so much, it’s been hard to concentrate.

He: Love it. I’ve got two tickets for a special premiere.

She: Sounds great, tell me more, I’m so excited to hear.

He: I’ll give you a hint; no, I’ll keep it a surprise.

She: Hey, no fair, ‘the man gives and then denies.’  But if you insist, then what should I wear?

He: Dancing shoes and something black, a little after5 affair.

She: Ooh, sounds fun. What time should I be ready?

He: About 8, once I gather the glitter and confetti.

She: Wow! I’m captivated. What are we celebrating?

He: The fact your romance is so pure and stimulating.

She (blushing): You so turn me on with the way that you say . . .

He: I take pleasure in pampering My Girl Friday.

See you tonight . . . .

***
Pamper the woman and caretake her heart. -Rg2

© 2012 Pamper-Her-Friday by Rg2®

(Rated Rg2: For Mature Audiences)

“The Vanishing Sheets”

I’m feeling you, woman, I don’t give a damn who knows
unless your mother is reading this, I suppose
it would behoove me to temper my testosterone
just long enough until I may have you alone

There’s a fallacy about men that women tend to harbor:
Each man is skinweak to either buy, trade or barter
morality surrendered to anatomical pleasings
and wholly susceptible to another woman’s teasings

I’m human, no doubt, but of the two heads
in my possession the smarter is the one that has said
over and over be wise with her love
fend off her worries, fulfill what she’s dreamed of

Place your hand on my chest, absorb the lovebeats
ecstasy isn’t necessarily between the sheets
I’ll pour the Riesling to put you at ease
your pent-up frustrations I intend to appease

You have fun with your girlfriends, enjoy hangin’ out
while summertime intimacy is unspoken about
picnics at sunset, soft jazz by the bay
thoughts of our romance just won’t go astray

Catalina awaits, we’ll take an undersea tour
your company’s much more than a bliss du jour
Ever walk on white sands, fresh abalone to taste?
hand-holding and tide-watching, we’ll keep this chaste

Until nightfall beckons and the Isleys begin crooning
the pillows invite sweet-talk and your craving for spooning
but be mindful of what you start, don’t engender my passion
lest my body transform into a pampering bastion

Primal become my urges, but I told you so
and you’re sensually moving to my rhythm and flow
It’s too hot for the sheets, the soundtrack’s on replay
the testosterone is unleashed on this Pamper-Her-Friday.

***
Her summer pampering in effect. -Rg2

© 2012 Pamper-Her-Friday by Rg2®

South Beach–12:09 a.m., Pamper-Her-Friday:

To the victor go the spoils, so written is the fable
but what good is a championship when the home is unstable?
“. . . not five, not six, not seven . . .” his boast
a metaphor for the years by his side they will toast

Champagne in her honor, the engagement’s been set
Sweethearts from high school, a blessing they met
LeBron Jr. and Bryce Maximus–so proud of their dad
his critics are vanquished, no longer are they sad

Beknighted by struggle, he’s earned his medals
Now, at her feet, he will sprinkle rose petals
His bejeweled ring is fitted, reflecting the sparkle of her eyes
She uplifted him: “The naysayers will say their goodbyes . . .

“. . . stay strong, love, believe me, your time will come . . .
“humility, hard work–baby, I know where you’re from”
All he’s ever wanted was a team as brotherhood
Though scores of others may have misunderstood

A wisdom few knew would inform his ‘Decision’
and Pat Riley perceived their shared premonition
“If you’re in, I’m in,” agreed D-Wade and Bosh
Talent migration to South Beach, where the living is posh

But Hollywood he is not, his feet firmly in the earth
Family and true friendships the source of his mirth
But, of course, what is a king alone on his throne?
Companionship is crucial, lest he bemoan

There’s a queen in his court, Savannah’s her name
A Camelot of their own, on the order of King James
The ring is the thing, perhaps even the bling
But hallowed is the coronation of this particular king

He’s reached the summit with someone special by his side
By a higher romance they’ve promised to abide
The crown is fitted, no more dues to pay
The prettiest jewel is in his arm on this Pamper-Her-Friday.

***
LeBron & Savannah: A Camelot Romance. -Rg2

© 2012 Pamper-Her-Friday by Rg2®

“Come Here, Femme-Fatale”

I like my woman feminine
especially in the lap of summer,
A warrioress you need not be,
so please step off the Hummer

You’re not faint of heart nor weak of mind
but no need to impress,
For supremely confident is the woman
who smoothly dons the dress

Ever heard of the ‘Iron Lady,’
Britain’s Margaret Thatcher?
Or the room-arresting femininity
of a Lady Michelle’s stature?

You run the world, it’s common knowledge
so softly use your wiles,
A hint of shoulder, two-quarters of leg
mythologize your styles

In every man lives quiet desperation
to be undisputed king,
Two village chiefs will only lock horns
But ironically here’s the thing:

You’re tired of being ambitious
independence has rather worn thin,
The various ways I can soothe your duress
a massage is where I’ll begin

Everything seems all about money
either sell or be sold to,
You need a break from the perpetual headache,
an enchanting summer for two

The floral wrap encasing your waist
the split along your thigh,
You’ve turned the table exquisitely:
YOU’RE the substance of MY sigh

Your warrioress still lurks within
she need not go away,
But I’m summoning your inner femme-fatale
to appear this Pamper-Her-Friday

And augur a summer like no other
our ecstasy; agony sans,
Your femininity has me at your pleasure
awaiting our summer’s romance.

***
The Art of Romance. -Rg2

© 2012 Pamper-Her-Friday by Rg2®

Vocals: Mr. Eric Benét

“Bringing the News for You, Love”

Tell me, have you heard the latest news, Love?
It may be the most outrageous you’ve ever heard of
A poll was taken about the romance of American women
The stats may be the most unbelievable ever given

“U.S. Women: The Most Unkissed, Unheld on the Planet”
Facts apparently corroborated from Halle to Janet
It’s unfortunate no one bothered to interview me
For there’s a woman in the country who certainly wouldn’t agree

You slept in my arms like an angel last night
Countless kisses astride your face as if I had divine right
And the thorough body massage certainly didn’t hurt
Any mention of dissatisfaction I was determined to avert

Then daybreak ushered your reluctant escape
But I captured your nightbreaths on digital tape
For your replay as forecast for what’s in store
A majestic summer romance with joy at its core

Believe not what you read and half what you see
I’m tossing the paper while on bended knee
Those stats mean nothing, we’ll have our say
For our summer romance begins this Pamper-Her-Friday.

***
Pamper the woman and forever live in her soul. -Rg2

© 2012 Pamper-Her-Friday by Rg2®

Music: The gifted Mr. Eric Benét

“Um . . . Are You Married?”

Pardon me, Miss, but are you married? What a coincidence, neither am I
And if you’re amenable to an interview, I would love to apply,
I’ve always considered the coming-together a lovely institution
If only I could get beyond my inner revolution,

This reluctant playboy’s fighting his devoted monogamist
Teeming with ideas for an idyllic summer tryst,
Extending from June to the greeting of September
We’ll photograph our sandcastles to help us remember,

A summer romance has chosen us for its story
Acoustic guitar serenades and scents of morning glory,
Kayaking on the lake, a Montego Bay getaway
Gretchen live by starlight and dare might I say,

A Vegas run for spontaneous fun, Martini picnics for two
The stresses of our 9-to-fives we’ll gladly bid adieu,
Twin mountain bikes for floral hikes, skiing on the jets
Sand volleyball, winner takes all, I’m putting up the nets,

How’s your cardio? Got B-ball skills? Let’s get you on the court
I’ll play you close in the low post for a mental scouting report,
No hand-checking me, woman, or else you’ll be in trouble
I messed around last Friday and hit a quadruple-double:

24 points, 12 rebounds, 11 steals, 10 kisses along your neck
The fouls you give are more akin to an erotic body trek,
Sweatin’ you and wettin’ you, it’s gettin’ hot and heavy
Diversifying my sensual skills, for you deserve a bevy,

We share a yen for luscious foods, how ’bout a friendly competition?
I’ll take the wok, you take the grill, we’ll sample our renditions,
Curries of Thai, Hawaiian fresh, and southern comfort fusion
You’re licking your lips at my seared salmon curry, was there
ever any illusion?

Ahh yeah, girl, I’ve got a few gifts, on which you shouldn’t sleep
I’m taking liberties my feelings for you, the sakes of which you’ll keep,
Summerlong and long thereafter our lives will be enhanced
Pamper-Her-Friday shall be the theme of our magical summer romance,

Oh, by the way, did I ask if you’re married?
Coincidentally neither am I,
Strike the dates of other interview candidates
Tell them, ‘You need not apply.’

***
The art of a summer romance. -Rg2

© 2012 Pamper-Her-Friday by Rg2®

(Rated: Rg2–For Mature Audiences) 

“Nothing Better Than This Love”

Romance isn’t disrobing your body; it’s clothing your naked fears
The quotation certainly has merit
But as the encroachment of a special summertime nears
I’ve unlocked Victoria’s secret, will you wear it?

It’s 10:59 afterdark and I’m sipping once again
No need of antidote or placebo
But for a deeper understanding of the meaning of sin
Compulsions long bottled, let them go

Methodical, slow, Gretchen vocal-like is how I want you
I vow to be meticulous as a surgeon
Employing every ounce of my skill toward your coo
I’ll re-release with gentle gloves your inner virgin

Your legs wrapped around me in harmonious silence
I can feel your body’s pulsebeat
We’ll love one another with a spiritual non-violence
Uh oh, you’re ticklish at your feet?

It’s hot but Swedish vodka’s on ice
I’ll fingerskate each cube down your spine
No need to employ a man-made device
All creative techniques will be mine

Woman, you’ve inhabited my wants, enraptured my soul
I’m prepared to master all feats
Orally traversing your entire skinscape will take its toll
Come, no need for these sheets

Better than, so greater than, a summer like no other
In discoveries we’ll take pleasure so many
A plethora of tenderpoints and fetishjoints to uncover
Touch confessions and ero-sessions aplenty

Be specific and tell me exactly what you need
Lest matters be taken in my hands
The details of your instructions I will devotedly heed
For you deserve the highest romance

No better than this love we eagerly await
Imaginations, anticipations at play
I’m counting down the days to you in my arms
Beginning this Pamper-Her-Friday.

***
Nothing Better Than . . . Romance. -Rg2

© 2012 Pamper-Her-Friday by Rg2

Vocals: The Sensually Soothing Ms. Gretchen Parlato